I recently was introduced to an entrepreneur with a personal email address on Hotmail. After doing a double take, I could faintly hear Sesame Street’s One of These Things Doesn’t Belong playing in my head. So on a whim, I decided to make sweeping and stereotypical judgments about what your email address might say about you.

Gmail

  • I am in the technology industry
  • I am a technology enthusiast
  • I am under the age of 25
  • I live in the Bay area
  • I have a close friend or family member in the technology industry

Yahoo

  • I am a casual user of technology
  • I am an aging technologist who once had relevant skills
  • I was an early adopter of webmail who is too busy (lazy) to migrate
  • I was once in the technology industry
  • I was recently thawed after having been cryogenically frozen in 2001

Hotmail

  • I work for Microsoft
  • I used to work for Microsoft
  • I am an overseas spammer
  • I am an overseas spammer who used to work for Microsoft
  • Help, I’m trapped in Windows 98 and can’t get out!

AOL

  • My love-hate relationship with technology is mostly hate
  • I am retired
  • My dialup modem doesn’t support The Internet
  • There is a 3.5 inch disk drive on my PC
  • I was recently thawed after having been cryogenically frozen in 1995

Vanity Domain

  • I am a technologist
  • I am social media savvy
  • I am a self-promoter
  • I am between the ages of 35 and 45 (dotcom boom)
  • I have a technology blog

Comcast or Verizon

  • I have no personal interest in technology
  • I have neither a close friend nor family member with an interest in technology
  • I have a close friend or family member with an interest in technology, but they will no longer visit my house to look at my PC
  • I check my email once a day
  • I play FarmVille on Facebook

iCloud (.mac or .me)

  • I actively use at least three iToys in my daily life (e.g. MacBook, iPad, iPhone)
  • I have an intuitive sense of good design
  • I have at least once in my life accused Microsoft of being the anti-Christ
  • I feel a tinge of pain on admitting Apple failed with MobileMe
  • I know something the rest of you don't: Google is so last decade

I neither practice nor do I condone email profiling. Any resemblance to actual people or personalities is purely coincidental.

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